Friday, June 18, 2010

Fiction Friday

Friday, June 18

Welcome to Fiction Friday and another day in my mind. Today, I start my fictitious news stories. I hope they will be humorous but after rereading them, I cannot guarantee they will be. Here is one. I hope to do more in the future.

News for the Date
Friday, June 15, 2040

Buffalo Wings

Somewhere in Colorado – History was made today when entrepreneurs Mark Flapsalot and Jack McMoos unveiled their genetically modified buffaloes. Their third experiment met with success and they have created a herd of 25 buffaloes with wings.

“It all started as a challenge years ago when Jack wondered how a real buffalo wing would taste like.” Flapsalot said.

Flapsalot owns Flappin’ Feathers Chicken Farm and Laboratory. and McMoos owns the Buffalo Paddies Farm. He and McMoos, owner of the Bull Pucky Ranch, brought together the genetic material from their animals to produce this heard.

Immediately upon the announcement, the Buffalo Savers filed a partition to declare the animals as endangered species. They claim that they need protecting. As of this report, unconfirmed reports of a tanker truck containing barbecue sauce heading toward the area have flooded.

McMoos said, “This is just B.S. - they will try anything to stop us.”

“Unless we step in some a big pile of B.S., we plan to bring the whole heard out for the public to look at.” Flapsalot said. “As for them flying off, they have not shown any inclination to flying. We believe they weigh to much and their wings are too small to carry that load.”

The White House has confirmed that the President will come to the unveiling. Mack Mouthpiece, Presidential Press Secretary, said, “the President encourages any and all entrepreneurs to push the envelop. Especially the envelopes that have money going to his reelection campaign fund. Ha, Ha!” He then proceeded to deny the reports put out by Buffalo Savers that a barbecue will be part of the festivities. “Just more B.S. rumors.” Mouthpiece said.

Spaced Out Vandalized

Space Protectorate and Astrological Center for the EnhanceD Outer Underdeveloped Territory (SPACED OUT) - Located on the International Space Station, Earth’s lower orbit -
The International Department of Investigative Officers and Tacticians report the theft of hydraulic equipment and 40 gallons of black paint. They disappeared from the space station’s Astronomical Storage Systems Holding and Observation Locker.

All ships in the area will be searched but the IDIOT spokesman believes that the outlaw group Mars Activists for the Reclamation of Real Estate is responsible. The IDIOT officer, Ima Nutjob said, “The chaotic symbol of Marre had been painted on several spots around ASSHOL. After searching the cavernous locker has left a foul stench in our nostrils.”

When asked when they will catch the perpetrators, Nutjob said, “We will sniff them out and flush them from space.”

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